keep smiling | Elin Härkönens blogg

"How can you still be smiling? after everything you've been through? " I got this question today.... and yeah it is not always easy to keep smiling, but I try my best. I am not always happy, but I always try to. I want to contibute with positive energy, cause we need more of that in this world. I want to be the best I can be and I prefer myself when I am happy vs unhappy. I want to live a happy life, cause I know how it is to live an unhappy life. It might be hard to understand where I get my energy from, and sometimes I ask myself the same question. But I guess it's my mindset, my driving force to always keep moving, keep fighting and never give up. I do it because I believe it can help someone else out there... it might help, inspire or motivate someone to never give up. and I am also keep smiling and doing the things that makes me happy, cause my biggest fear is to end up in the darkness where I were 4 years ago. I am never EVER going there again. It is tough yes, and my body is worn out, exhausted and tired. I do not sleep that much at night, cause I am afraid of my breathing... I am not having any apetite, but I try to force myself to eat, cause I know how easily I loose weight and I really don't want to. I am in pain and it affects me negatively.... and It shows, but please do not worry, I am trying my best to cope with the situation and trauma I've been through. I'll be back, eventually. STRONGER than EVER. I just wanted to be honest, like always.